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A lot of things have changed for the better since coming “home.” Here are the highlights. He was “dating” me for a few months while I was “seeing” him and “seeing”other men too. I was always up front about it and he knew it. I was never out to hurt him. I might write more about this later, but long, romantic story later, I kind of fell for him.

My Weight I did not fall in love with the photographer like I had for any other man before. It wasn’t a “love at first sight” or a long pining for a man in which he finally submitted through sheer attrition to give me the time of day. Neither was it a “you’ll do” kind of Mr.-Right-Now kind of thing. It was a slow, gradual waltz toward love instead of the highway to Hell all my other love affairs turned out to me. He courted me like a gentleman, bided his time, until finally it occurred to me that we were meant to be.

I haven’t been writing about dieting lately because it just wasn’t my focus. I was working on my career, moving cross country, establishing new relationships, fostering old ones, and letting others go. It was rather time consuming. Through all that uproar, my weight remained amazingly consistent. Of course, consistent considering they about thirty or so pounds I gained in Florida. But then there was still the weight and health issues we both had.

I could give excuses as to why I gained weight in Florida, being recently divorced being the major one. My ex-husband’s weight fluctuated some, not as much as mine, but we still attempted to eat healthy and we always had a gym membership. My dog was a lot younger and we went on walks a lot. Oh no, am I about to blame my weight gain on my aging, arthritic dog? Maybe. Also, I lived in a resort town, I was depressed, angry, lonely, and it was too damn hot and humid to exercise and I couldn’t afford a gym. That’s enough of excuses, right? Honestly, I was going through a lot and food was my comfort. I also kind of picked up a minor smoking habit. Bad, Charlotte. The thing is, I have been this heavy before back in 2001 when the first signs of my husband’s homosexuality emerged and I had a hard time keeping a job in the teaching field, which I had no business being in the first place. I was miserable and my weight reflected that misery and mounds of unappealing flesh. Let’s not even talk about the kind of men you attract when you are a mess like that. I am realizing that I might want to build a life with this man but the way we are both going, that life might only be a few years. It just seemed like there were two very large coffins in our near future instead of little winter condo along the Gulf Coast in our distant future. Something had to be done.

His getting a better job and losing weight was NOT a condition of us dating, it just turned out like that. When I met him, he had a shitty schedule. He worked every weekend 3pm-Midnight Friday-Tuesday for like ten bucks an hour. That kind of pay and schedule is not conducive to courting. He was working on getting a better job anyway, and he did. He has a better schedule, not a 9-5, Monday-Friday kind of deal, but neither do I, but its better and the pay is a lot better. He is happier and he feels he might finally have a career. When you don’t have to worry about your livelihood so much, the rest of your life can flourish too. He works from home now doing tech support and can make better food choices. He has already lost a lot of weight, I’d say easily thirty pounds and all though he has a lot more to lose in order to free himself of the health risks associated with obesity, he is well on his way.


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Last-modified: 2021-04-02 (金) 04:10:43 (73d)