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Sex can be so much fun and connecting and for me sex is usually better with connection and affection. My first ever girlfriend BB from 11th grade and I had the best sex for so many years even when we weren’t dating and we’re still best friends 26 years later now and love each other and don’t have sex anymore. I definitely prefer sex with someone I love and there are many degrees and different kinds of love. My meditation teacher shows me that love is everywhere and we’re all connected and love connection and holding hands can be as good or better than sex too. I had a date recently with this awesome scientist and instead of trying to kiss her on the first date, she drove me in her race care and I held hands with her and that was super sexy to me too.

Evan Marc Katz

Twitter: youshouldknowca says: April 10, 2010 at 1:46 pm Lance,

You will reap what you sow, my friend, if you believe that great sex is more valuable than a great relationship. I’m not teasing you; just pointing out that 95% of the time, you’re NOT having sex, which is why valuing it slightly more than the relationship may be a foolhardy long term proposition. No one wants to ‘settle’ on anything; I just think that valuing sex above a relationship is sort of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Evan

Kat Wilder

Twitter: KatWilder? says: April 12, 2010 at 6:57 am QT Mama — well, I sure hope you found great sex again!

Steve — I don’t think people can learn to be “unboring.” Going through the motions isn’t quite the same as feeling comfortable, happy and engaged in things you really aren’t comfortable in. Nor can someone with no sense of humor get one easily.

Brain — Damn you Stones! You’re right!

MVgrl — Call him for a booty call? Maybe. Be careful not to get, uh, sucked in …. ;-)

Lance — Well, I’ll agree with the good Mr. Katz here; a mediocre relationship is not fulfilling even if the sex is hot. And, I’m not saying great sex can be taught; however, a woman can learn to feel a lot more relaxed about her body, which will help her get over whatever hangups she has about it. That sets the stage for exploration, and exploration sets the stage for becoming a better lover.

Vincent — Yes, sex with someone we love is wonderful, but you can certainly have off-the-chart sex with someone you barely know. I don’t agree that “holding hands can be as good or better than sex too.” Holding hands affects us on a chemical level, releasing oxytocin and all those other things that make us feel warm and fuzzy. That may be sexy, but it sure ain’t sex!

Evan — Wait, 95% of the time, you’re NOT having sex ? How can we change that up? ;-)


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